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Location: Maryland, United States

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Last week

Remind me that we'll always have each other
when everything else is gone.

That's from Dig, by Incubus.

Jason's parents issue with me is they think I have a high, flat forehead, and so therefore our kids will be born with Down's syndrome or some other mental defect. I'm pretty sure my head is round, I just don't wear bangs. Anyway, I asked my co-worker MD and he told me you are more likely to have a kid with down's if you have the kid after 40.
*sigh*

So at Jason's cousin's house for Thanksgiving, we all went around the room and said what we were thankful for. I said I was thankful for Jason, everyday. He kissed me. And his cousin's son (who is 10 I think) said "ewww" and everyone laughed.
The next day Jason's mother calls him to tell him that she and everyone else there were terribly embarrased by the two of us "carrying on."
*sigh*

Jason doesn't actually tell me about this until Wednesday of last week. He was so angry and upset, it honestly scared me a little. We had this emotionally exhausting conversation and I got home super late. It must have been lack of sleep and all the emotions coming out because Thursday I lost it. I called Jason in the morning crying and just freaking out. He came over and drove me to work and we talked things out. It just killed me to see him so upset. I had forgotten that he's assured me a jillion times that what they say isn't going to change things.
And I lost sight of myself...the strong, confident person who doesn't care what people think of her. Maybe I needed to get all the anger and pain and frustration out. I do feel better.
Friday Jason and his mom had a big argument and he told her he wasn't going to be talking to her for a while. I guess we will see. I think it's a good idea.

Now that I've finished spilling this all out, I'm done thinking about his parents. I'm done talking about them. If you have made it this far, thanks for "listening."

9 Comments:

Blogger frodis said...

Oh, Deb. That is so completely ridiculous that it would be funny if it didn't hurt so much. I'm sorry that you're going through this with them.

Really, *that's* their problem? Down's Syndrome is a chromosomal abnormality, having an extra chromosone #39 (I think.) People with small, pointy heads can have kids with Down's too. Anyone can.

Maybe they're grasping at straws because they're afraid of "losing" their son to anyone, not specifically you. I mean, that reason is absurd.

Mr. Fro and I went through some stupid parents stuff around the time we got married. It's important to remember it's his parents that are the issue, not him. It's so good that he's standing up for you.

*hugs*

4:02 PM  
Blogger Swami said...

But, Einstein had a high, flat forehead and he turned out pretty good. So you should have smart kids. In-laws can pick on the wierdest things to get all worked up about. Mostly it all boils down to 'you're stealing my baby and he loves you more!'

Tom's folks were always rude to me so we just stopped going there. I think I didn't see them for about 3 years after we got married. This was my fault of course (in their opinion.) It took his mom about 15 years to realize that she had totally alienated her son by disrespecting me.

In many ways Tom never got over it. I try to make him go see her every year or he wouldn't go. I make him go because I'm afraid if she dies suddenly he will always have a nagging regret that he didn't visit her when he could have. That would be a bad feeling for him to live with.

7:19 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

I had to stand up to my parents at one point when I thought they were disrespecting the last GF I had before Ladycub. I'm glad Jason did so. If he marries you, he has to put you ahead of his family.

That being said, you wouldn't just get Jason; you'd get his family too. It's a set. Is it really worth the garbage it seems you'd get from them no matter what you do? I'm not saying that means you should dump him, but I'm just wondering whether it's worth the ongoing aggravation. It just seems to me that they're not going to change anytime soon. You could, as a couple, decide not to include them in your life, but that has its own set of ramifications.

Have you asked Jason if his family has ever acted this way with anyone else he's dated?

Just trying to help; feel free to discard any or all of what I just wrote. #hug#

7:05 AM  
Blogger Bravie said...

*hug* It's hard to stand up to the parents. But good on him for doing so. *hug*

9:08 AM  
Blogger Puffy said...

Unbelievable! So good that you and Jason are talking about it.

Happy Hanukah!

12:38 PM  
Blogger mtw said...

Echoing everyone else's comments about how ridiculous his parents are being.

One good thing is that you're learning that he has the Nutz to stand up to his parents on your behalf. A man who won't stand up to his parents when they are treating his SO poorly is a man who's not ready for a relationship.

12:27 PM  
Blogger MM said...

Stupidest thing I've ever read. I'm sorry, Deb. I'm so glad Jason is standing up to them and being strong...I think Fro might be right, they are just afraid of losing him and grasping at straws. God, that pisses me off.

{{hugs}}

11:10 AM  
Blogger kim (weltek) said...

As frodis said, it's so ridiculous that it could be funny if they weren't actually so serious. And maybe since Swami pointed out the Einstein thing, you should send them a photo with his forehead circled. Naw, that would mean you have to acknowlege their statement.

Wow. Just wow.
*hugs* I'm glad Jason is standing up to them.

8:08 AM  
Blogger Silvergirl said...

I'm almost speechless, Deb. They must really resent someone latching onto their little boy to come up with this nonsense. Unfortunately, when you couple with someone, you do get his/her family. I have had some issues with my in-laws in the past, but nothing like your problems with Jason's parents. Anyway, my in-laws and I get along great now. I wish you the best. *smooch*

10:23 PM  

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