One more week to go

We got the license today. I feel fortunate to be marrying such a kind hearted, generous, handsome man. :)
There are still some small things to work out. I haven't written our vows....stupid school. But a lot of the details have been arranged already. I'm getting very excited!

Wedding Update

Okay, so I met with the florist today and got the flowers. I decided to get little boutonnieres for everyone in the family, and Linda, the officiant's girlfriend. There's going to be one table centerpiece for the wedding party table. My bouquet will have ivory roses, deep blue irises and lavender daisies. It's going to cascade a little in front.
Irises like this....

I think the daisies add a touch of whimsy which I want.

Leah's bouquet will have yellow roses, the irises, lavender daisies, and dark purple asters.
The boutonnieres and corsages will be a mix of those flowers. I didn't want everything to be the same.
So now I have to order the invitations and send them out and iron out a few things at the restaurant and we're ready.
Jason got his wedding ring this weekend, so we can get married. :-)
I'm getting excited.

Fallout

Thanksgiving was at Jason's parents this year. And I decided not to go because I will never be good enough for them. Jason told them I wasn't coming and they told him that I took my archivist job because I don't like people and I want to be alone all the time. And I was afraid of hearing what they would say about me so I wouldn't come to their house. Which is ironic because they have never said any of this to their son.
Not to mention they are convinced that I am autistic.
So Jason and his parents argued about me for the upteenth time, and he left.
When he told me what happened, I didn't take it well. I had nightmares about them ruining my wedding and I cried a lot. I didn't sleep very well.
Fortunately, my family rallied around me and Jason rallied around me and I recovered.
I'm not going to let the opinion of two people who have met me four times in the past eight years I've known Jason dictate how I feel about myself.
So now it is time for Christmas, and I have been invited to Jason's cousin's house. My sister and my mom proposed we have a Jewish Christmas and see Frost Nixon and eat lunch together. Jason told his parents I wasn't coming to Christmas dinner and they said they hoped I would reconsider because we're going to be family.
*lets that sink in a minute*
I cannot be around them yet. I may be able to understand that Jason doesn't want his parents to die alone so he feels he should spend time with them, but I don't want to be around them. Even if lots of other people are there. I'm tired of them hurting their son with the things they say about me.
I may have recovered, but I have scars. The wound is too raw. I need time to heal. And the truth is, I may never forgive them for what they have said. I am not sure that I can.

I've worked my tail off this semester

One last 26 page preservation project later, and I'm done with my semester. It was a lot of work, but I am proud of myself. I can go back to have a life again for a few more weeks before I start all over again. Things are good...I still have my part time job which pays the few bills I have. I am trying to get a coveted Library of Congress internship for the summer. We'll see how that goes. Jason is still the sweetest most caring person I know. He made me breakfast in bed yesterday morning just because. It was very luxurious. Now that I'm done with the semester (except for one quick edit of the paper) I can clean up the whirlwind of paper I've left in the house. It's everywhere. :) My family is doing there annual gift exchange for Hanukkah on the 21st. I have my dad for the big gift again this year. It's easy to make him happy.
Anyway, the screen is getting blurry from staring at it for hours, so I am going to stop typing now. Woo-hoo!!

How I Write

This always seems to happen to me....I have a paper I need to write for school.
A few days into writing it, I start to flounder and question myself.
Do I really know what I'm taking about?
Am I really answering this topic?
Is this even coherent at all?
Then as I go along something clicks in my head and I realize that I DO know what I'm talking about, and while it's not perfectly coherent yet, it's coming along nicely.
Oh well, back to work.

In other news, I found my wedding dress....mom's dress didn't fit (and I'm happy with the way I am, thank you very much so there will be no crash dieting) so I went to Davids with mom and Leah on Friday and found the perfect dress.
And since J reads this and I have told him it's purple and see-through, if you want to know what it looks like, send me an email and I'll send you a picture. :-)

I Will Never Forget

It was about this time of day when we listened to the radio in the garage of our building and heard a third plane was headed for DC.
That was when three of us decided to walk into Virginia, and I saw the Pentagon burning.
I remember thinking "we are no longer safe anywhere."
I'm glad they finally dedicated the Pentagon memorial today. I will never forget that day.

Congrats

Congrats to Sara, my dearest friend from high school who had a healthy baby boy on July 26th. He's a cutie. :)
And my friend Katie had a boy two days later.
Death reminds you that life is final...but babies remind you that life can bring you real joy.
I can't wait to bring presents and hugs and kisses!!